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The 50 Dates Fear Machine

Pretty much since Megan and I took off up I-5 toward Portland, Oregon, a snake-like thought has hissed in the back of mind mind. Sometimes it’s a gardner snake, a tickling whisp easy enough to ignore. Sometimes it’s a party snake in a can that can simply be giggled at. But sometimes it’s a venomous […]

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How I Wanted to Love – And How I Do Now

Within two laps, the chlorinated water had numbed my lips the way thousands of kisses all in a row would, but I barely noticed. The bilateral pulse of arms was hypnotizing my mind into a blank space, where recent events were able to unfold without judgment or emotion. Like a free-style zombie, I replayed a […]

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This is How it Works

Been listening to this on repeat. …This is how it works You’re young until you’re not You love until you don’t You try until you can’t You laugh until you cry You cry until you laugh And everyone must breathe Until their dying breath No, this is how it works You peer inside yourself You […]

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Still the Somewhat Not Storybook Girl

The kitchen was steeped with the smell of blooming lilacs, their purple, bushy-tail tips peeking up behind the open screen. Betty, my grandmother, looked at teenage me quizzically, her head tilted like a curious robin. And at 15, she was right to have that look. My long, frizzy hair was parted down the middle making me […]

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Tiny Moments

While listening to This American Life’s Radio Drama* episode, I was struck by something Mike Birbiglia said during Act II: Of Mice and Men: That one of the best things about being in a relationship is the inside jokes you have that are only funny to the two of you. He goes on to discuss “Catssachusetts” briefly, […]

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Heartbeats and Mistaken Identities

There’s an arc to a crush. The slow build, the death-not-defying drop, the re-stabilization. If plotted on a graph, it would look something like a heartbeat. And not much about a crush has changed since high school, especially when the crush in question is in your neighborhood, on your daily path. You do the dance of […]

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Other People’s Love Stories

Tell me about it I’ve tossed out to date after date, boyfriend after boyfriend. About the intricacies of their jobs (I can talk BRT with the best of them and know quite a bit about the quagga issue). About their family dynamics (I’ve been whispered the darkest of the dark, and the joyfullest of the joyful). […]

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The Universe Has Been Good to Me

I’ve asked a lot from the universe over the past 365 days. I asked for self forgiveness, which I quickly learned was tied deeply to appreciating myself and recognizing a whole slew (with sesame seeds!) of internal conflicts and beliefs that inhibited me from accepting the thing I wanted most: to believe in unconditional love, […]

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#loveyourbody

There are many reasons I’m wicked excited for the re-release of Kimber Simpkins’ book, Full. Scratch that. There is one reason: Kimber’s book made me a better, more mindful person and gave me tools to start the long-overdue process of loving all of myself, from the brains in my head to the toes on my […]

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When Will I Learn?

Dusk was already upon me as I walked home from my cozy co-working situation (also known as a dimly lit corner of a cafe with friends and coffee). A man whose bulk was carried in all parts of his college basketball height body crossed the street and wound up next me to as we walked […]

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