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A Scene from a Sleepless Night

I couldn’t fall asleep. Instead, I lay pinched between his arms, tense, trying to anticipate where on his body his next hypnotic jerk would ripple. They were as impossible to read as he was. After we both came was the only time he really touched me, curling one arm under my waist and laying the […]

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Everything

[Ed note: do you ever meet someone who just drops your jaw with awe? My friend Harmony Eichsteadt is poetic, insightful, doesn’t mince words and isn’t afraid to rawly tell it like it is – and I admire the heck out of her for it. I recently read this piece of hers about what she […]

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The Route of 50 Dates in 50 States

I have something badass to share with you. It’s this map: Ever since we announced the trip, people have asked “How did you decide where to go in the lower 48 states?” Well, we were balancing a lot: efficiency (we even consulted with a professional mathematician on the subject of how to get around the […]

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The “You Happy?” App

I’d like to invent a simple app. No bells or whistles or push notifications, just a click of a button that lets me send an unobtrusive missive to an ex that simply asks, “You happy?” with a checkbox next to “Yes” and a checkbox next to “No.” Maybe it arrives in email form. Maybe through […]

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Why Jordana Narin’s “No Labels, No Drama, Right?” is So Damn Spot On

As someone who has spent the last year and a half without definition in my intimate connections (though certainly with plenty of defining moments, and yes mom, that’s all I’ll say about that), I placed my chin in the palm of my hand like a teacup rests in a saucer as I read Jordana Narin’s […]

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Risky Date: A Comic About Rape Culture

Ed notes: This comic was originally published on Robot Hugs and republished here with their permission.  (Trigger Warning: Sexual assault and rape culture) Before I meet a first date for the first time, I have a ritual: I send my roommate and/or best friend as much of their name as I have, their phone number, their place […]

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The Doo-doo’s and Don’ts of Discussing Disgusting Matters on a First Date

Let’s start this subject off with a cautionary tale from the archives of my first-dating repertoire (and my, how so many stories have yet to be told!).  Ian was earning his MFT at a tiny university no one in Oakland has heard of. While he told me about seeing patients for the first time, I imagined […]

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I’m an Invisible Girlfriend

For a lark, my roommate sent me a site she discovered - Invisible Boyfriend. The premise is simple: sign up, pay, and have hired strangers write texts to you throughout the day so it looks to the outside world like you have a sweet someone in your life. I have so much more to say about this, […]

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Look, We’re Almost Thirty

Ed note: I pulled this from the archives while I was looking through old files. This was written before 50/50 was even an idea, before the guy with the pony broke up with me, before anything on this blog was even thought to exist. Which is endlessly fascinating to me. Anyway, this piece was strangely […]

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How to Drink on a First Date

My friend, Matthew Latkiewicz, knows a lot about drinking. No, really. More than you. I promise. I mostly promise because he just published a book, You Suck at Drinking. I also promise because I’ve been a stander-by at his bar seat and a guest in his home (stunningly designed by his talented wife, Small Victories Design, should anyone be […]

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