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The “You Happy?” App

I’d like to invent a simple app. No bells or whistles or push notifications, just a click of a button that lets me send an unobtrusive missive to an ex that simply asks, “You happy?” with a checkbox next to “Yes” and a checkbox next to “No.”

Maybe it arrives in email form. Maybe through Twitter direct message. Perhaps it’s a virtual postcard, or better yet, some little note in Instagram. My name doesn’t even have to be attached to it, and ideally, this missive can only be sent about once every five months.

Better still, the app just deduces an overall sense of fulfillment and pings me back. It’s possible this app’s best feature might simply be lying to me, always saying yes after pretending to perform complicated algorithmic activity.

Because the truth is, olive branch waving aside, that’s the heart of what I want to know. I want to be assured of contentment, I want to cheerlead silently a good thing (or two, three, four, five) going on. Someone else’s okayness soothes me, even if my heart remains restless.


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