The Math of An Awkward “Hello”

Greeting Russell was awkward, mostly because upon reaching up to hug him, I managed to swipe the tip of his nose with my thumb. Thankfully, I didn’t make it into his nostril, but I definitely grazed from one exterior bulge to the other.

Being a gentleman (and for all I know, a scholar), Russell didn’t mention this moment of finger-meets-nose, instead offering to buy me a drink to make up for his being tardy. I accepted and the moment he was gone, pressed my forehead into my palm.

Being me, as Russell sat back down with our drinks and began the usual getting-to-know-all-about-you conversation, I raised my hand as though we’d entered a classroom – though mostly I was attempting to interrupt him in a more polite way than say…just interrupting him. “Yes?” he asked.

I stared into his velvety brown eyes: “Did I touch your nose when we hugged?”

His eyes widened. “Well. Yes.”

“Man, I’m sorry. Thanks for not saying anything.”

“It’s not the weirdest thing that’s happened upon a ‘hello,'” he said. “One time a girl spilled her entire drink on my pants.”

“Whoa….Do you think she was trying to get you to take your pants off immediately? Did it work?”

Russell, bless his heart, wasn’t offended by the joke. In fact, he even laughed.

“First hello’s are awkward,” I continued, realizing I was about to apply some knowledge I’d learned on the road with Megan to this situation. “I guess I never really thought about it. But saying ‘hi’ for the first time is equally as awkward as saying ‘goodbye.’ You’ve never done it before, so you don’t know how to do it.”

I’d like to point out that our goodbye was waaaaaaaay less awkward than our hello – it was almost as though we’d done it before. Which makes me think maybe the one place a double-goodbye would not even be acceptable but appreciated would be the datingverse. What if you got two chances to say goodbye?

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