Lately, Megan and I have been talking a lot about the truth. More accurately, we’ve been talking about when it’s appropriate to voice your honest opinion about the relationships your friends are in. Granted, I know we’re all thinking you can’t handle the truth! when it comes to mentioning a negative opinion of a friend’s relationship…but maybe that doesn’t matter.
I get why we don’t want to say anything negative. There’s a good chance your friend will share it with their partner in a moment of insecurity or intimacy or drunken thinking. And in turn, your friend’s partner might say how dare that cocoapuff comment on our relationship, and turn their nose up at you from there on out. And then, what if despite your concerns — because this isn’t your relationship — the couple stays together forever (and ever and ever). From there on out, you are that friend.
But what’s worse is when you don’t pipe up with a thought or two about a friend’s relationship, and then it ends and you say to your friend oh yeah, I always thought that dude was a manchild and your friend says why the hell didn’t you tell me!? Even if they wouldn’t have listened, at least you said it.
My best friends and I have a concept we call constructive coddling. We tell each other what we really think about situations, but nicely and empathetically. We refuse to coddle one another when it comes to choices.