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37

For reference: 36, 35, 34, 33, 32, 31, and 30. Spin class has been getting pretty deep lately. Even when she’s dishing out 90’s themed playlists to ride to, my spin instructor isn’t afraid of life’s big questions. “Why are you here?” she asks, almost rhetorically, as 26 strangers peddle in tandem. “What are you doing this for?”” The class is about sweating your […]

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36

I actually wrote something else about 36. It had to do with space, and how pauses are positive — even when we believe the Dave Eggers mantra that stasis is criminal. We encompassing me, in this essay you’ll never read. I wanted to like this essay. It had some phrases, or darlings if you will, […]

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<3

I find that the more I allow my heart to break, the more space I have to not be heartbroken. # Photo by Matthew Fournier on Unsplash  

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bitter/sweets

exit-candy from the thai place, shoved in my purse after our first date a vegan cinnamon roll discussed on what became the last day I’d see you the weeks i left your towel on my bathroom floor your birthday cake we aren’t sharing

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Even

  It’s not even dying alone I’m worried about. It’s living alone.

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Public Dating

A lot of “dating” seems to happen in public. People swipe while waiting at stoplights, they see a match come through over dinner with friends, they text as they run on the treadmill. Not exactly the kind of public that allows you to get a sense of a person (like at work, or at a bar) […]

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Love As I Know it Is…

Ed note: Or at least, love as I knew it just after college love was. When I was 18, I discovered Aaron Cometbus’ Punk Rock Love Is…and thought it was the most brilliant thing I’d laid eyes on. Four years later, as I began grad school, my friend E and I wrote our own versions. […]

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Everything But

  We go through a lot of trouble to try and like someone “like that.” Mantra-like, we repeat their positive qualities to ourselves and maybe even our friends: they’re fun, they’re hot, I love how excited they are about sending motivating letters to prisoners, they always say “yes!” to my weird ideas, and we laugh a lot.  […]

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Pascal

He wasn’t just obsessed with triangles and theorems. French mathworm Blase Pascal was a bit of a philosophical chap as well. Exhibit A: The heart has its reasons that reason doesn’t understand.  A messy translation of an equally messy concept. As people, we are made up of both heart and reason, and yet, the two […]

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You Will, Too

Whenever someone I’m dating or talking to (textversating, as it were), gets overly apologetic for letting me down or hurting me, my gut reaction is always to shrug and say, “I’ve survived so much before this.” I find rehashing all those things I’ve lived through or returned from to be the most comforting of thoughts when […]

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