[Ed note: do you ever meet someone who just drops your jaw with awe? My friend Harmony Eichsteadt is poetic, insightful, doesn’t mince words and isn’t afraid to rawly tell it like it is – and I admire the heck out of her for it. I recently read this piece of hers about what she wants from a partner, inspired by an encounter of a man hitting on her, and I had to share, because…yes. All the yes. Enjoy.]
I know you think I’m beautiful, but beautiful is boring.
I don’t care about beautiful. I want someone who can talk about the radical politics of bike riding and urban farming. I want to have kinky sex and then lie in bed with my lover and discuss Foucault and how we navigate power and gender and sex and can BDSM ever be feminist and subversive or does it always perpetuate the patriarchy?
I want someone who doesn’t just show up physically, but who seduces me with their mind and fucks with their feelings. I want fears and hopes and dreams and aches and longing and baggage and insecurities and deepest childhood secrets all there in the bed with us, wrapped around our bodies like sweaty sheets.
I want to talk about vulnerability and bravery and whether transparency is the only possible response to the death of privacy and if that’s true, should we start living individual lives of radical transparency, or does that feed the Big Brother state and should we instead support a sort of Snowden level of transparency revolution and do those two paths converge and how does that show up now, here, in this moment of intimacy together?
I want adventure and daring and new horizons. I want to be challenged, I want to grow, I want to see new things in the world through your eyes and through my own. I want to be changed for having known you and leave you irreversibly different for having met me.
Even for one night with me, the price is your soul: bared, exposed, naked for me to see and turn over in my hand and drink up. I want real, I want raw, I want all of someone. And very very few people are interested in doing that much work just to get laid.
Go to your gym. Go to your clubs. There are girls there, beautiful girls, with the 6 pack you are looking for, who just want to hang out and drink and dance. They don’t want anything big or hard or uncomfortable from you. They won’t ask you to challenge everything you know about reality. Those are the women you are looking for. I know you think it’s me. But it’s not me. You want beautiful. And I want everything.
[Back to ed: Honestly, we could all use a little more Harmony in our lives. If you agree, you can follow her on Twitter @justlikeharmony.]