<< Tag along with 50/50


Life is Weird Sometimes

5050photoAlicia here again. Life is weird sometimes. Wait no. Life is weird most all of the time. I can’t say I much believe in fate or powers that be, but I can’t say I don’t much believe them either. I’m not sure if weirdness and fate (or the PTB) are related, but I have a hard time accepting coincidence without some sense of purpose.* Life is also sometimes esoteric. I can only wonder who exactly how the intel regarding the hows and why’s of life, but suffice it to say, it’s not me.

This is my roundabout way of saying that after Dr. P vanished, I watched Adam slip away entirely (his absence much more pronounced as his presence was so much more pronounced) mere days before I was diagnosed with UPJ, the kidney-blockage that to this July-day affects my daily life. Then I was mostly in and fully out with Utah. Despite weekly phone calls with North Carolina and Dallas, I began to feel as though I had just gone on a long journey only to end up in the same spot as I had been before, only even slightly worse because all my friends had lives that moved on without me, and suddenly I didn’t quite fit anymore.

So when I got a message on OkCupid that read Your enthusiasm for life and curiosity peaked my interest…that and the lettuce taquitos (weird, but strangely amazing) I wasn’t quite in the best place to get that message. But I responded, was rewarded with a book-related pun in return, and then proceeded to ignore said message. It wasn’t until a week after the originally ignored message that the stranger wrote again, this time resulting in an invitation to the public library.

I accepted.

Not quite because I wanted to. It’s not that I didn’t want to, there were just a lot of thoughts in my head about my health, what my health really meant for future relationships, not to mention what 50/50 truly meant for dating. When one’s brain is so full of if’s, then’s, why’s, and how’s, it can be overwhelming to add an actual date in the mix. Why was it dating on the road never came with such complications?

Regardless, I pulled on a black and white striped dress with lace on top, zipped up wing-tipped boots, and had to make two pit stops on my 25 minute, lakeside walk to the library (thank you very much, UPJ). I texted my date from the bathroom of my second pit stop, telling him I was moments away.

He replied that he was waiting out front.

With zero expectation, I put a smile on my face and walked up to meet him.

*It’s possible I simply read The Celestine Prophecy at too early of an age that I’m incapable of detaching from that notion.


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