Yesterday I meandered away from the road trip and the story of fifty first dates to talk dating on a grander scheme. Going to wind that up now. Like I said before…In Maryland, it was inebriated educators. Awhile back, I remember feeling a bit unnerved by an uncategorizable number of people who wanted to know about what a date meant. And heck, as of this week my friend Dr. Paul had his own questions about the “legitimacy” of dates during fifty/fifty. Picking up right where we left off:
So, Are These Real Dates or What?
According to others: kind of sounds like they’re skeptical, if conversations I’ve had with others are any indication. It feels like a lot of the concern for whether these dates are real or not comes from two places:
1. That I’m dating different sorts of people than I might normally, and
2. That there’s not a possibility of a second date.
According to me: for shizzle. In all seriousness, for those who don’t speak ridiculous, yes. These are real dates.
Um….Back That Opinion Up.
These are “real” dates for a multitude of reasons. The guys I go out with are all entered into in the Merriam-Webster “date”-like fashion: socially, with the potential for something romantic to emerge.
It’s true, many guys are not in the realm of who I normally would date, or even who I would necessarily find myself attracted to based on a photo or two. Funny enough, I’ve been attracted to all of them in real life, if not physically then with their personalities. I guess I have this theory that people in general are overly self-selective when it comes to dating, going out with only people they find physically appealing right off bat or who they “think” are right for them. I rather prefer being open to the possibility that no one is perfect, and thus I may as well give in to seeking out dates and accepting dates from different sorts of people.
As for the second date possibility…well, why not? There is always a possibility there won’t be a second date when you go out with someone, whether they’re perfect for you on paper or not. Actually, I suppose we could argue there’s no guarantee that any date will lead to another. A second may not become a third, maybe a twentieth not a twenty-first. I’m not sure that the idea that there might not be a second date really holds up.
Have Any Dates Been Successful?
For me, I think most of the dates have been successful. I mean, so far no one has flaked on me. Which means I’ve actually had the date. Some of the dates have been decidedly bad, it’s true. But does that even make them not successful? I’ve learned something, I’ve seen the world differently.
I have to wonder…are people out there dating with preconceived notion of success that I’m not aware of? Would it be so wrong if a date was not rated as successful or not in general, and simply as something that happened? When I think about non-romantic dates, the ones I make with my dentist or movie nights with my best friends, I suppose the way I rate them is more like a grading system: A for Outstanding, B for Good, C for Fair … and F for Failure comes in only if there’s a major faux pas, a fight breaks out, or if someone doesn’t show.*
* Apparently I grade platonic dates on a college-style scale where Ds don’t exist. Also, wondering what it would look like if a fight broke out at the dentist…or if the dentist managed not to show. How awkward would it be to just be kicking it in that chair?