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Communication

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Two months and change is a long time in the car together, even if you are two fabulous, considerate and polite gals. Heck, two hours in the car with most anyone is usually quite enough. All this is to say that naturally, Megan and I aren’t always peaches and cream together. We’re human. We’re flawed. We’ve been known to grate on each other occasionally. We don’t mean to, but it happens.

In any relationship (platonic or otherwise) the important point isn’t that conflict occurs — what’s important is how you deal with the conflict, and that dealing demonstrates your character. So at the end of the New Hampshire date when I realized Megs wasn’t pleased with me, I first racked my brain for what I had done wrong. Nothing came to mind, which meant I was going to have to ask. We did our job first, unloading equipment into the car and getting ready to drive. And then I turned to Megan and point blank said, “Okay. We’re not going anywhere til we talk. I cannot focus until whatever is going on is resolved or at least discussed.”

So talk we did. Enter honest, open, heartfelt conversation. It was pleasant and altogether different to have a conversation such as this with someone – in my romantic relationships, I’ve often encountered men who will not talk. I’m afflicted with intuition, so even small hiccups of frustration or teaspoons of irritants come to my attention quickly and permeate how I’m feeling, and require me to ask for a discussion.

Most boys I’ve been with (though certainly not all) say nothing. They ignore the situation, or say everything is fine, leaving me to have to believe them or fret more because I can tell they’re lying. And since I want to trust who I’m with I go for belief, except…I know they’re not admitting the truth. I can’t tell if this is one of those differences between lads and lasses à la Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus, or if this is more a comment on the type of guys I have dated up until this point.

Twenty minutes later Megan and I were on the road again, both of us much more comfortable, the silence companionable, not forced.

4 Responses so far.

  1. Jeff says:

    Communication is super important. Speaking of which.. should you make it my way (connecticut), would love to meet up for tea and chat with y’all. (before/after whatever date ya have planned) So, excellent post. People need to be more honest.

  2. GABRIEL CHAPARRO says:

    soooo…..what happened?!?! Why was she upset?!?!?!

    • admin says:

      I was upset because I didn’t feel like my needs were being heard. Which was incidentally exactly why Alicia was upset with me. After we talked, we didn’t necessarily come to an agreement on all the point we both were making, but we did feel like we were heard which was really the whole point anyway. MP

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